Hard Time

If you ever take a trip down to Cobb County, Georgia.
You better read the signs.
Respect the law and order.
You'll serve hard times.
You'll be serving hard times.
You know the Big Boss Man will make you walk the line.
You better watch out boy or you'll be serving hard time.
He carries a big stick, a ball and chain too.
If you're looking for trouble he'll be coming after you.
You'll serve hard times.
You'll be serving hard times.
You know the Big Boss Man will make you walk the line.
You better watch out boy or you'll be serving hard time.
You'll be serving hard times.
You'll be serving hard times.
You know the Big Boss Man will make you walk the line.
You better watch out boy or you'll be serving hard time.
You'll be serving hard times.
You'll be serving hard times.
You know the Big Boss Man will make you walk the line.
You better watch out boy or you'll be serving hard time.
Hard times.
Hard times.
You know the Big Boss Man will make you walk the line.
You better watch out boy or you'll be serving hard time.

Postal III

 

PROS

Humor. While nowhere near as funny as Postal 2, the game did make me smile a few times. It has a 2000’s decade sense of humor, and was made for people who enjoy video games. Not for the Twitch “gamer gurls” and 300 pound pink haired land whales on Twitter that now LARP as gamers. I also enjoy the dated references, such as having a Sarah Palin and Cesar Millian the Dog Whisperer knock offs in the game.

CONS

Feels like if MDickie made a shooter, hit boxes are way off, the game lags at times, and some missions are unbeatable.

OVERALL THOUGHTS

So I finally played the infamous Postal III, and yes it is really that bad, and no I do not recommend it. That being said, I did enjoy messing around with it, and feel like it was worth the 99 cent sale price I paid for it. As I understand, Postal III was outsourced to a Russian company that was going under and firing developers as it was being made, so because of that it feels more like an unfinished beta version than an actual game. If you are familiar with MDickie games, it feels a lot like if MDickie were to make a shooter. It’s just sad because Postal 2 is one of the funniest and most comfiest video games I’ve ever played, and Postal III is just a mess. If you’re a diehard Postal 2 fan then 99 cents is a fair price, just understand that this is a broken game, and you’ll probably want to install a few mods. I’ll list some mods down below.

QUALITY OF LIFE FIXES & MODS

CONTROLLER: Go into the config file and change “joystick=0” to “joystick=1” this will make your controller instantly work, with the exception of selecting weapons, that part is a bit touch and go, and you’ll probably still need to use your mouse wheel for that.

VCAM: Improved third person camera, and gives the option for first person camera.

NO SPLASH SCREENS: Eliminates a couple of the 40 splash screens at the start of the game.

OMEGA PUNCH: Gives you a one hit kill, with how bad the hit boxes are, it makes the game a bit more fair.

CLASSIC DUDE: The Dude is dressed in his Postal 2 attire.

SIMPLE DOT CROSS: A less obnoxious looking crosshair.

100% SAVE: Basically gives you a level select option, you’re going to want this.

Cookie Clicker

 

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The Binding Of Isaac

The story, art style, and randomly generated rooms are all great, however the controls are the drizzling ♥♥♥♥♥. The game would probably be perfect if it played like a twin stick shooter where Issac could fire in a full 360 degrees motion. Only being able to fire up/down and left/right makes it too clunky to be enjoyable. Maybe one day I’ll try the remaster to see if it runs more smoothly.

Turok: Dinosaur Hunter

I AM TUROK!

I loved Turok and Turok 2 on the N64 back in the day, the N64 was such a powerhouse for first person shooters during the golden era of the genre. The graphics and sound are cleaned up, you can turn on and off the fog, and using a modern controller is nice. Gameplay and weapons are great, the only thing I got butt hurt about was assuming the game auto saved instead of having to use a save stone, so I lost about an hour's worth of gameplay.

Blasting through velociraptors with explosive shotgun rounds, and then chugging fire water while letting the whole world know that you are indeed Turok, is the most alpha thing you can do.
 

Quake

Quake always reminds me of a friend back in the day that didn’t have any consoles and just played games on PC, he and his brother were always playing Quake. The guy dressed like he was from the Matrix, and we’d ride around the back roads of Alabama smoking weed, and bumping Montell Jordan "This Is How We Do It" in his Honda Prelude. Good times.

I had played this game on Game Pass for a bit recently, and thought it was worth the 3 or 4 dollar sale price. While the game lacks the style of a Duke Nukem, GoldenEye 007, Doom 64, Hexen, or Turok: Dinosaur Hunter, as far as vidjas go, it’s a good one.
 

Retro Arch Dreamcast Emulator FlyCast DLC

 

Worms Armageddon Simulator.

Being able to play Worms with a controller instead of a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ mouse and keyboard….. VEGETA KNEEL