Tower Unite

 Tower Unite

PROS

-Building your condo is very satisfying thanks to the Steam Workshop where you’ll find almost anything you can dream of to add to your place. You want a game room with an X-Men arcade machine and a Nintendo 64? You got it bro. You want a shrine dedicated to Gal Gadot? You got it bro. You want a life size sized Dragon Zord next to your beach front movie theater with Bowsette serving drinks at the tiki bar? You got it bro. You want a Hulkamania themed dance club in your basement? You got it bro.

-Mini golf is really fun for the first couple of hours. There are a few holes that will frustrate you to no end, but the courses overall are all pretty well designed. Sweet Tooth, Dark, and Alpine were my favorite courses to play, with Kingdom being the most nightmare inducing difficulty wise. While you can play mini golf with a controller, I’d highly recommend playing it with a mouse for the most accuracy and better control of the camera.

-Going bowling, winning tickets at a cheesy Dave & Buster’s style arcade, and racing in Accelerate (Mario Kart clone) are all okay, not as fun as mini golf, but okay.

-All of the Units (Tower Unite’s in game currency) are earned within the game, there is no using real life money for extra Units.

CONS

-The rando community isn’t great, if you plan on playing this with anyone born before the year 2000 and/or anyone with an IQ above room temperature then you’re sh*t out of luck. When these randos visit your condo, expect them to throw around all of your movable objects vandalizing the place. They will do this out of confusion and fear because they have no pop culture frame of references outside of “Dora the Explorer” or “Rick and Morty.”

 

-A lot of the mini games feel unfinished, for example there is this one game called Virus where you play as either a Zombie or a Human fighting against each other. While the concept is great, the gameplay is just terrible, all of the hit boxes feel off, the game would need a complete rework to be enjoyable.

OVERALL THOUGHTS

The concept of the game is great in theory, which is basically PlayStation Home on steroids, but unless you’re an avid paint chip eater, then you’re going to want to either play on mute or with someone you know. Also, while there is a lot to do in the game, for the most part you can probably get your entire Tower Unite fill over the course of a weekend.

I really enjoyed decorating my condo with madness while having YouTube videos play on my movie theater screen as background fodder, and I really enjoyed playing mini golf, but I just don’t know if that is enough for me to recommend the game to others.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltes: Shredder's Revenge

 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge 

NOSTALGIA

Ah, sweet nostalgia…….the powerful dopamine hit that controls our adult lives way more than it should. 

In between He-Man and the Masters of the Universe and X-Men: The Animated Series, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon was the king.

I can still remember running around the playground during recess in Elementary School playing Ninja Turtles, I would be Raphael and there would be like 20 Leonardo's and 2 April O’Neils. Funny enough when I got older, and I’d ask someone who their favorite Ninja Turtle was, they’d usually have all different types of answers, with Donatello being towards the top of the list, but for some unknown reason every kid wanted to be Leonardo on that playground lel.

Besides the cartoons I fondly remember the awesome line of action figures, the NES games, the trading cards, the live action movies, heck I even had Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bathroom accessories back then. The Ninja Turtles were serious business.

PROS

-The gameplay is fun, I mean it’s a beat em’ up, you have to try really hard to screw up a beat em’ up.

-The retro graphics look great and were the best way to present the game in my opinion. 

-The music is great, and as a side note, there is one song that sounds incredibly similar to the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers theme, which I have to wonder if that was intentional or not. 

-The game is loaded with nostalgia and fun gags, I had a big grin on my face several times throughout the game.

CONS

-There doesn’t appear to be a multiplayer option where you can just join randos in a lobby, so you’ll need to have a friend with the game already or find someone on a forum.

-I did experience some lag a few times during combat that would usually last for 1 or 2 seconds, and this was during single player.

-April O’Neil  has been nerfed from days of yore, and as a source material Chad that is bothersome. 

-The price is a bit much on Steam, 10 bucks for a digital copy or 20-30 bucks for a physical copy seems more fair to me.

OVERALL THOUGHTS

If you were lucky enough to have grown up with the original Ninja Turtles cartoon, then you are going to want this game. The game is fun and hits you hard with nostalgia, but if you are buying it on Steam, maybe wait until it is 10 bucks or less.

Tomb Raider I + II + III

 

Tomb Raider I + II + III

 

Lara Croft Dinosaur Hunter, A Great Game 5/5

There is something very relaxing and rewarding about figuring your way around an empty and cavernous tomb all alone in silence. Of course, there is always the possibility for a pack of wolves, bears, velociraptors, or a towering tyrannosaurus rex waiting for you around each corner. Don’t be scared off by the age of the games or the controls. I found the “aged” graphics to be very charming. The PS1 style controls only took about 30 minutes to get used to, run through the obstacle course in Lara’s mansion if you need to get more comfortable. The old Tomb Raider games are on sale for pennies non-stop on GOG, so you might as well just spend the like 7 dollar doos and get the entire library. 

Tomb Raider I Controls:

-Click on “dosbosTR.conf” and change “joysticktype=auto” to “joysticktype=none”

-Joy To Key (PlayStation/XBOX):

POV Up: Up Arrow 

POV Right: Right Arrow

POV Down: Down Arrow

POV Left: Left Arrow

Button 1: R-Ctrl

Button 2: End

Button 3: R-Alt

Button 4: Space

Button 5: Numpad 0

Button 6: R-Shift

Button 7: Escape

Button 8: Enter

Button 11: Delete

Button 12: PageDown

-Joy To Key (Retro-Bit Sega Saturn)

POV Up: Up Arrow

POV Right: Right Arrow

POV Down: Down Arrow

POV Left: Left Arrow

Button 1: Delete

Button 2: R-Alt

Button 3: R-Ctrl

Button 4: Numpad 0

Button 5: Space

Button 6: PageDown

Button 7: R-Shift

Button 8: End

Button 10: Escape

 

Bully Scholarship Edition

 

Bully Scholarship Edition 

 

ROCKSTAR’S BEST GAME

Bully: Scholarship Edition is in my top 25 favorite games of all time list. I’d been itching for another playthrough for awhile and decided to jump on a Steam sale. The game has a good story, humor, and lots of fun missions. 

It has a very comfy feel to it, where the game makes you feel happy to play it. Some of that comfiness I think is due to the background music that plays throughout the game. Another is that the world is on a much smaller scale than a Grand Theft Auto game, so you’ll often see the same familiar characters going about their business, and I think that’s a lot cooler than just seeing random NPC’s around every corner. It’s a fun little world to get lost in for a few hours, and I can’t recommend it enough.

BEFORE YOU PLAY

As you’ve probably seen in the reviews, Bully: Scholarship Edition on Steam is not a plug & play game, which is kind of messed up that it’s listed for sale in its current state. You will need to jump through a few hoops to get the game running properly, which will only take a few minutes of your time. I installed all of these mods before I started playing, and at 3 hours in, I’ve experienced zero game crashes, and the game looks and runs perfectly. 

-Make sure you are running version 1.2 of the game.

-Install widescreen fix by ThirteenAG

-Launch and set screen resolution to 1024x768

-Install SilentPatch by CookiePLMonster

-Install Bully Extended Draw Distance by Jessica Natalia

-Install Anniversary Edition HUD by Aura Shadow*

*The new HUD does botch the XBOX button prompt colors making the A button red, the B button green, the X button yellow, and the Y button blue, it’s not that big of a deal, but might confuse you when playing mini games.

Tutorials available on YouTube.

Resident Evil Remaster

 

Resident Evil Remaster

 

HOW TO MAKE THE PERFECT JILL SANDWICH

-12 Inch Loaf Of Honey Wheat Bread, Cut Open

-Mayonnaise Spread Evenly On Both Sides Of Bread

-Layer With

Pepperoni

Salami

Gabagool

Prosciuttini

Ham

Provolone

Jill Valentine (With Barefoot Mod)

-Drizzle On Jill Juice 

2/3 Red Wine Vinegar 

1/3 E.V.O.O.

Sprinkled With Oregano, Salt, & Pepper To Taste

-Layer With

Pickle

Black Olives

Tomato

Raw White Onion

Lettuce

-Add One Additional Drizzle On Jill Juice 

2/3 Red Wine Vinegar 

1/3 E.V.O.O.

Sprinkled With Oregano, Salt, & Pepper To Taste

ENJOY!